If I could sit across from you for a moment, I suspect I’d hear something like this:

“I feel stuck.”
“I can’t stop thinking about it.”
“I know I want something more… I just don’t know what to do next.”

And here’s the part that’s easy to miss:

This isn’t a motivation or willpower problem.

It’s a thinking pattern problem.

What’s Actually Happening

When people feel stuck, they often try to think their way out of it.

Makes sense, right?

If you’re thoughtful, capable, and used to solving problems… your instinct is to analyze, evaluate, and figure it out.

But research in cognitive psychology shows something important:

More thinking does not always lead to better decisions.

In fact, when thinking turns repetitive and unresolved—what we call rumination—it tends to:

• Increase stress and anxiety
• Reduce clarity
• Delay action
• And make problems feel bigger than they are

So what feels like “working on the problem” is often just…spinning around it.

 

Why Capable People Get Especially Stuck

The more capable you are, the more likely you are to believe:

“I should be able to figure this out before I act.”

So you wait.

You think more.
You try to get it right.
You try to eliminate uncertainty.

Is this sounding familiar?

But here’s the shift:
Clarity doesn’t come before action.
Clarity comes from action.

What Actually Helps You Get Unstuck

If overthinking is the problem, the solution isn’t better thinking.

It’s changing your relationship to thinking.

Here are a few research-backed ways to do that:

1. Shrink the decision

Instead of asking:

“What should I do?”

Try:
“What is one small, reasonable next step?”

I call this a 1% unlock.

Small, concrete actions reduce anxiety and build momentum.

Don’t wait to have clarity on the whole situation. Move forward with tiny actions.

2. Set a boundary on thinking

• Give yourself 10–15 minutes to think it through
• Then take a step

Constraints help you move forward.

Source: https://www.linkedin.com/posts/mattypiazzi_how-to-tackle-your-worries-ever-tried-worry-activity

3. Name what’s actually uncertain

Instead of:
“This might not work”

Try:
“What specifically am I unsure about?”

Then decide:

Do I need more information?
Or do I need to move forward without it?

4. Let discomfort come with you

You don’t need to feel ready to act.

You need to be willing to move forward while feeling uncertain.

Isn’t that the definition of bravery? When you feel fear, but still take action.

5. Interrupt the loop physically

• Take a short walk
• Change environments
• Do something mildly absorbing

Shifting your attention helps your mind reset.

 

A Simple Way To Think About It

If you’re stuck, it’s often not because you don’t know enough.

It’s because you’re trying to solve it all in your head.

So instead of asking:
“Have I figured this out yet?”

Try asking:
“Have I taken a step yet?”

You don’t need the full plan.

You don’t need certainty.

You just need to step out of the loop long enough to move forward.

If You Want Help Applying This

I just taught a workshop in the LifeLab, our mental health gym:

Stress & Anxiety: When Your Mind Won’t Shut Off: Working with Rumination

We practiced building psychological strength by:

• noticing when you’re in a loop
• choosing a research-backed way to exit and move into action

You can catch the replay here.

And we’re continuing this work in workshops all month:

Focus & Productivity: When You Can’t Get Yourself to Start
Social Connection: When You Feel Lonely (Even Around Others)
Life Satisfaction: Why It Still Doesn’t Feel Like Enough

Each session is practical, therapist-led, and designed to help you actually build psychological strength.

Explore the LifeLab.

All my best,
Debbie