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Issue #012: Do Tech Companies Prioritize Engagement Over Mental Health?
If a social media company knew one of its features was harming children — and had internal documents acknowledging that harm — would they remove it?
That’s not hypothetical.
That’s what’s being discussed this week in a California courtroom, where Mark Zuckerberg took the stand in what is being called a bellwether social media case — the first in a series of lawsuits arguing that certain platform features function like slot machines.
One of the documents presented in court showed that Meta executives debated lifting a ban on beauty filters that mimicked plastic surgery for girls.
Other executives reportedly warned that the filters could affect body dysmorphia in teen users.
Nick Clegg, then a Meta executive, wrote:
“We would rightly be accused of putting growth over responsibility.”
— New York Times, Feb. 11, 2026
That sentence suggests the risk was understood internally.
The ban was ultimately lifted.
Addiction vs. Harm — What’s Actually Being Argued
In the same trial, Instagram’s chief executive, Adam Mosseri, testified that social media is not “clinically addictive,” though he acknowledged it “could cause some harm if used too much.”
— NY Times, Feb. 11, 2026
The companies’ legal argument is this:
There is “no scientific evidence proving that their platforms cause addiction.”
And technically, that may be true in a strict DSM (the book we use for diagnosing) sense.
But that’s not what I see in families.
What I see is:
- Compulsive checking
- Mood dips after scrolling
- Sleep disruption
- Body comparison spirals
- Irritability when asked to put it down
That’s not necessarily addiction.
It’s problematic engagement. In some cases, very problematic.
It’s like over-drinking versus alcoholism. Both are problematic.
And here’s the bottom line:
If something is eroding sleep, confidence, focus, or mental health — we need to take action.
Rewarding Growth Over Wellbeing
Here’s what feels surreal.
We’ve been arguing about screen time in kitchens.
Meanwhile, tech companies have been optimizing engagement, retention, and infinite scrolling — while debating internally whether certain features put “growth over responsibility.”
Don’t these executives have kids too?
Probably.
I don’t believe most tech leaders wake up wanting to harm children.
But I do believe they operate inside systems that reward growth.
Public companies are structured around growth.
Growth drives stock prices.
Stock price influences compensation.
Executive bonuses are tied to engagement, retention, revenue, and user growth.
Not teen self-confidence.
Not sleep quality.
Not mental health impact.
When incentives and wellbeing compete, incentives tend to win — unless someone intentionally redesigns the system.
If it Were Up to Me…
I would change the scoreboard.
What if executive bonuses weren’t tied to time-on-app…
but to teen self-confidence scores?
What if stock grants increased when users reported stronger real-life friendships?
What if compensation rose when sleep disruption decreased?
What if product teams were rewarded for helping teens log off after meaningful connection instead of keeping them scrolling?
Incentives shape behavior.
That’s true in families.
It’s true in schools.
It’s true in corporations.
Right now, the scoreboard doesn’t measure wellbeing.
So wellbeing isn’t what gets optimized.
I can’t redesign social media.
But I can help families redesign their own scoreboard.
The Chart We Can’t Ignore
Researchers like Jean Twenge have documented sharp increases in adolescent depression, anxiety, and self-harm beginning around 2011–2012, right when smartphones became nearly universal.
Correlation is not causation.
But when internal documents acknowledge risk… and the data curves bend… and families report real distress…
It’s time to raise the red flag.
5 Guidelines for Parents
Here’s what I’m sharing with families this week.
1. Teach Internal Awareness
Before arguing about time limits, ask impact questions.
“Do you feel better after being on it… or worse?”
“Did that add to your wellbeing — or subtract from it?”
If it feels icky inside, that's your signal to stop.
2. Separate Creation from Endless Scroll
Making something is different from comparing yourself to strangers.
Creating stuff builds agency. Passive comparison often erodes it.
3. Protect Sleep
No devices in bedrooms overnight.
Sleep is brain care. It protects mood, focus, and impulse control.
4. Delay Social Media If You Can
If companies celebrate early signups for long-term retention, that tells us something.
Delay and restrict social media as long as you can.
5. Do the Right Thing
This is what we’d tell our kids like broken records:
Do what’s respectful.
Do what’s helpful.
Do what’s useful.
Protect what you let into your brain.
We’re trying to raise thoughtful humans and digital citizens, and they need to hear your values repeatedly.
🍽️ Dinner Conversation Starter
Try this at the dinner table tonight:
“There’s a court case happening right now where families are arguing that some social media features weren’t designed with kids’ wellbeing in mind. What do you think about that?”
“Have you ever used a beauty filter? How did it make you feel?”
“Have you ever seen something online that you wish you hadn’t seen or felt FOMO?”
Conversations like these build discernment.
Where We Go From Here
If you’d like to learn more research-based strategies — and how I guide parents on managing screens, supporting uniquely-wired learners, strengthening friendships, protecting mental health, and building real-world productivity…
This spring, we’re launching 4 small Unique Path Parent Accelerator groups — capped at 8 parents each — beginning mid-March.
- Ages 10 and Under – Wednesday 10:30am PT
- Ages 11–13 – Monday 10:30am PT
- Ages 14–17 – Friday 9:30am PT
- Ages 18–25 – Monday 9am PT
If this newsletter resonated — and you’re curious about joining one of our small Unique Path Parenting groups — send me an email and tell us your child’s age group.
Because doing the right thing — in a world optimized for something else — is easier when you’re not doing it alone.
All my best,
Debbie Steinberg, LMFT
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