Do you ever catch yourself having negative thoughts that seem to come out of nowhere?

It’s like your brain is trying to make sense of something difficult or confusing, and it quickly fills in the blanks, often with a negative conclusion.

It might sound like:

“I should be further along.”

“Maybe I’m not doing this right.”

“What is wrong with me that I can’t figure this out.”

In cognitive behavioral therapy, these are called Automatic Negative Thoughts.

They’re fast, they feel true, and they tend to present themselves as if they’re facts.

As the saying goes, don’t believe everything you think.

To break out of this pattern, it’s usually not enough to just think positive. What helps more is choosing a different thought,one that opens the door to action.

And then taking a small step – a 1% action that creates a little forward movement (from the art and science of Kaizen).

Here’s a menu you can choose from, depending on what’s been on your mind.

The 1% Action Menu To Overcome Automatic Negative Thoughts

If things feel a little stale or disconnected in your relationship

• Set aside one hour this week to spend time together without logistics or screens
• Share one thing you’ve been feeling or needing, and listen to your partner’s perspective
• Restart one small habit that used to feel like “you” (a walk, coffee, a friend check-in)
• Say no to one outside stressor that’s putting pressure on you

If you feel stuck in your role or career

• Ask to do more of one task you’re good at
• Take one step toward learning or growth
• Have one direct conversation about your development
• Strengthen one relationship at work
• Set one clearer boundary around your time

When your mind starts to question your self-worth

• Write the thought down and label it as a thought—not a fact
• Talk to yourself the way you would talk to someone you care about
• Use one of your strengths on purpose this week
• Describe a setback in specific, limited terms, ie “this didn’t work out because xyz happened, not because I’m defective in some way.”
• Watch out for social comparison, especially on social media

If parenting feels harder than you expected

• Adjust one part of their environment or routine
• Add one support (a checklist, a timer, more structure)
• Build around one strength or interest
• Add a 10-minute self care practice in your day
• Ask yourself if there’s any small stuff you don’t need to be worried about today

Practice these quick moves to become better at breaking through automatic negative thinking:

1. Notice the thought.
2. Choose a more helpful thought that leads to action.
3. Take one small 1% step.

Hit reply and let me know if this resonates for you. I’d love to hear what bubbles up for you. I read every response.