Is there anything in your life you know you should do, but you actually don’t do? Things like:

• Go to bed earlier
• Start the project
• Have the conversation
• Follow through on the plan

It’s a curious thing why we don’t get it done.

It’s not because we don’t care.

It’s because there’s a gap between:

what you know
and
what you actually do

 

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A Common Misconception

We’re taught to believe:

“If I understand it, I should be able to do it.”

So when we don’t follow through, we assume:

• I need more motivation
• I need to try harder
• I need a better memory

But in reality:

The knowing–doing gap is rarely a motivation problem.

It’s usually a friction problem.

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What Creates the Gap

In the moment, a few predictable things happen:

• your mind gets busy or overwhelmed
• the task feels unclear or too big
• there’s discomfort (uncertainty, pressure, avoidance)
• you don’t have a clear next step

So even though you know what to do…

the path to doing it isn’t top of mind.

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What the Research Shows

Researchers have been studying this for decades, and a few patterns show up again and again:

We overestimate the power of insight
Understanding what to do doesn’t reliably translate into doing it—especially in the moment.

Friction beats intention

A friend once told me her husband (a cop) used to say:
“Locking your doors keeps honest people honest.”

Even small amounts of friction—unclear steps, low energy, no cue—
are enough to stop something that should happen.

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The Question That Unlocks the Solution

Instead of asking:

“Why am I not doing this?”

Try asking:

What would this look like if it were easy?

That question shifts you from pressure → design.

 

 

For example:

Instead of:
“I should take my supplements”

→ What would this look like if it were easy?
→ I take them while the coffee is brewing. Every single time.

Now it’s:

• anchored
• repeatable
• much easier to follow through

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You Can Use AI to Turn Knowledge Into Action

Try this AI prompt:

“I’m trying to consistently do: [specific behavior]
Right now, it’s not happening as often as I’d like.
Analyze this like a behavioral scientist:
– What are the likely friction points (environment, timing, energy, emotional resistance)?
– Where is the sequence breaking down?
– What would this look like if it were easy and automatic?
– Give me 3 concrete ways to redesign this so it happens with less effort and more consistency.”

You don’t need more willpower.

You need less friction.

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If You Enjoy Building Psychological Strengths Like These…

I’ve been building something new, and I’m really excited about it.

Starting in April inside our LifeLab learning community, we’re focusing on:

Psychological Strength Training™. Just like you build physical muscles when you workout, you can build mental muscles with specific exercises in the LifeLab.

Each week, we focus on one area. In April we’ll be diving into:

• Week 1 – Stress & Anxiety: When Your Mind Won’t Shut Off: Working with Rumination
• Week 2 – Focus & Productivity: When You Can’t Get Yourself to Start: Overcoming Task Avoidance
• Week 3- Social connection: When You Feel Lonely, Even Around Other People: Opening Up More Fully
• Week 4 – Life Satisfaction: Why It Still Doesn’t Feel Like Enough (Even When Life Is Good)

I’ll be teaching each session live and would love to see you there.

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Final Thought

You don’t need more information.

You need a way to make what you already know… easier to do.