Does your child often seek reassurance when they feel anxious, stressed, or worried? It’s natural for anxious kids to turn to their parents for comfort. However, according to Dr. Eli Lebowitz, Clinical Psychologist at the Yale Child Study Center, this well-meaning behavior may unintentionally increase your child's anxietyover time.
Dr. Lebowitz explains that when a child has an anxiety disorder, the core problem isn’t just their emotional response—it’s their dependence on others for soothing. While it’s natural for kids to seek reassurance, if parents consistently step in to protect or regulate, children don’t practice copingon their own. Over time, this prevents them from developing their own skills to manage anxiety, reinforcing their fear rather than diminishing it.
In this video, Dr. Lebowitz shares the trap parents often fall intoand the powerful shiftthat can help children build confidence in handling their own anxiety. Instead of reinforcing their need for constant reassurance, parents can teach their child that anxiety is not something to fear, and that they have the ability to cope with it over time.
Why Do Parents Struggle with This?
It’s natural for parents to want to relieve their child’s distress, but constantly stepping in to “save” them leads to greater dependency. Instead of mitigating anxiety, this response inadvertently teaches kids that they can’t handle anxiety alone, increasing their anxietyin the long run.
A Powerful Message to Teach Your Child
Dr. Lebowitz emphasizes that one of the greatest giftsyou can give your anxious child is to help them take anxiety in stride. The goal isn’t to make life as comfortable as possible but to help children see that anxiety is manageable. By learning to face their fears without constant reassurance, children will gain self-confidenceand resilience.
Key takeaways from Dr. Eli Lebowitz’s insights:
- Reassurance from parents can actually increase anxietyover time.
- Children need to practice coping with anxietyon their own, not rely on others for constant soothing.
- Anxiety is a normal emotion, and teaching your child to embrace it helps them build emotional strength and independence.
If your child struggles with anxiety, this video offers a powerful approachto shift your parenting strategy and help them build resilience.
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Take a listen.