Is your child with ADHD or anxiety constantly overwhelmed by negative self-talk? Sharon Saline, PhD, author of What Your ADHD Child Wishes You Knew, shares expert tools to help kids challenge these harmful thoughts, develop self-regulation, and transform their relationship with anxiety.
Understanding Anxiety: The First Step to Reframing the Narrative
Anxiety is more than just worry. It's a physiological response to fear and uncertainty, but it's not inherently negative. For children with ADHD or anxiety, it can feel overwhelming when the anxiety becomes too intense or irrational. While the protective benefits of anxiety are vital for keeping us alert in dangerous situations, it can become problematic when amplified, especially for neurodivergent kids.
The key is not eliminating anxiety but learning how to manage it effectively. The process begins with recognizingthat anxiety is a response, and helping kids engagewith their feelings in a healthier way.
Key Strategies for Managing Anxiety:
- Create Counter-Statements to Challenge Negative Thoughts:
Anxiety often tells children lies—“You’ll fail,” “No one likes you,” “You’re not good enough.” These thoughts can be damaging, but Sharon recommends teaching kids to combat them with positive counter-statements. For example, if anxiety says, “You’ll fail,” the child could counter with, “I’ve succeeded before, and I can do it again.” - Use Superhero or Future-Self Strategies:
Research has shown that imagining oneself as a superhero or as a more confident future self can help reduce anxiety. Sharon uses a technique where kids visualize themselves five, ten, or even fifty years from now, looking back at the current situation. This helps kids shift from feeling overwhelmed by their anxiety to feeling empowered and in control. - Shift from Focusing on What You Don’t Want to What You Do Want:
Instead of focusing on the negative (e.g., “I don’t want to go to school because I’ll be alone”), Sharon encourages kids to reframe their thinking to what they dowant. For example, “I want to meet someone new and make a friend.” This shift in focus helps kids feel more positive and proactive about situations that cause anxiety.
Practical Exercises to Help Kids Build Confidence:
- Counter-Statements: Encourage your child to create a list of positive affirmations that counter their anxious thoughts.
- Superhero Strategy: Ask your child to imagine what their superhero self would do in situations that cause anxiety.
- Future-Self Visualization: Have your child imagine their future self offering advice or comfort for their current situation.
Empowering Your Child with Self-Soothing Techniques
It's important for children to recognize that anxiety is a natural feeling but doesn't have to dictate their actions. By learning to counteract negative thoughts, shift focus, and practice self-soothing techniques, kids can gain the confidence they need to manage their anxiety in healthy ways.
Bottom Line:
Instead of trying to eliminate anxiety, the focus should be on empowering your child to respondto it with positive tools and strategies. With the right mindset, your child can transform their relationship with anxiety and thrive in the face of challenges.
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