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Teaching is one of the most impactful roles, but responding to challenging behaviors can be difficult, especially with neurodivergent children. In this insightful discussion, Dr. Stephen Porges and Dr. Mona Delahooke share science-backed strategies for understanding and addressing challenging behaviors in the classroom. Learn how to support your students through emotional regulation and co-regulation to foster a more supportive, inclusive environment.

Understanding Challenging Behaviors: A New Perspective for Teachers

As teachers, we understand that our students are not just showing challenging behaviors for attention or out of defiance. Instead, these behaviors often stem from deeper, internal struggles—such as anxiety, overstimulation, or an inability to regulate emotions. Drs. Porges and Delahooke introduce a fresh approach to understanding these behaviors, one that moves beyond traditional discipline models and instead focuses on emotional and nervous system regulation.

The Science Behind Challenging Behaviors

Dr. Stephen Porges, the originator of Polyvagal Theory, and Dr. Mona Delahooke, clinical psychologist and author of Beyond Behaviors, explain the concept of neuroception—our nervous system’s ability to detect threats and safety without conscious awareness. For children, especially those with ADHD, autism, and other neurodivergent traits, their behaviors are often subconscious responses to perceived threats in their environment.

For example, the sounds of air conditioning or fluorescent lights might be perceived as threatening, causing a child’s nervous system to go into a fight-or-flight state. This results in behaviors like fidgeting, irritability, or meltdowns, which are not intentional misbehaviors but survival responses.

How Teachers Can Shift Their Approach to Behavioral Challenges

The key takeaway from this discussion is that behavior is often a reflection of what is happening inside a child’s body—not just their mind. Dr. Porges emphasizes the importance of recognizing the difference between a child’s body being in a state of defense versus being in a state of accessibility. In a defense state, children are not capable of learning or engaging with others in a meaningful way. Teachers can help bring children back into a state of calm and accessibility through emotional regulation and co-regulation.

Practical Strategies for Teachers

1. Shift from Behavior Management to Emotional Regulation
   One of the biggest changes teachers can make is shifting from focusing on behavior management to focusing on emotional regulation. When a child is acting out, it is important to look at the underlying cause—whether they are overwhelmed, overstimulated, or stressed. Teachers should aim to recognize the physiological state the child is in and respond accordingly, with patience and understanding.

2. Use Co-Regulation to Support Students
   Co-regulation is the process of modeling calmness and emotional stability. Teachers who are able to stay calm in stressful situations can help their students return to a regulated state. When a student starts to show signs of distress, such as fidgeting or becoming tense, a teacher can provide a comforting presence, offer a gentle reminder, or provide a calming task to redirect the child’s focus.

3. Understand the Role of Neuroception in Challenging Behaviors
   As Dr. Porges explains, neuroception refers to the body’s subconscious detection of safety or threat. Teachers can adjust their classroom environment to reduce perceived threats—for example, by lowering harsh lighting, eliminating background noise, or providing quiet spaces for students to retreat to when they are overwhelmed. Understanding the cues that may trigger stress for neurodivergent children is crucial in reducing challenging behaviors.

4. Small Changes to Create a Supportive Environment
   Dr. Delahooke suggests that teachers pay attention to the placement of students in the classroom. For children with ADHD or sensory sensitivities, sitting at the back of the class or against a wall can help them feel more secure and less threatened by the environment. Movement breaks can also be more effective when framed as opportunities for the child to help the teacher or class, which makes them feel empowered rather than singled out.

Building Positive Relationships and Reducing Stress

The most important shift that Drs. Porges and Delahooke recommend is to approach every child with the mindset of building a relationship first. By understanding that behaviors are often not willful but are responses to a child’s need for comfort, safety, or regulation, teachers can help reduce the distress that triggers these behaviors. As Dr. Porges says, "a regulated, calm teacher can regulate a whole classroom."

Key Takeaways:

• Behavior is often a reflection of a child’s physiological state, not an intentional act.

• Neuroception helps explain why some children are more sensitive to stimuli and show stress responses.

• Co-regulation is key in helping children manage their emotions and behaviors in a supportive, understanding way.

• Small changes in classroom dynamics, like seating arrangements and sensory adjustments, can make a big difference in helping neurodivergent students thrive.

By embracing a model that focuses on emotional regulation rather than punishment, teachers can create a more inclusive, empathetic environment that helps students manage challenging behaviors in a healthier, more supportive way.

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