Does your child struggle to get started on tasks, especially when the pressure builds? The "Wall of Awful" is a common barrier for bright kids dealing with overwhelming anxiety, procrastination, or perfectionism. In this vlog, Brendan Mahan, Executive Function Coach and ADHD expert, offers five strategies to help your child break through this wall and overcome procrastination. These strategies can empower them to manage emotions, improve focus, and build lasting resilience.
Understanding the Wall of Awful
The "Wall of Awful" occurs when tasks feel so overwhelming that a child can't even begin, and feelings of hopelessness set in. For kids with ADHD or learning challenges, this often leads to a cycle of unfinished assignments, frustration, and shutdown. But the good news is, there are effective ways to help them overcome this mental block.
Five Strategies to Overcome the Wall of Awful
- Staring at the Wall
While this strategy sounds passive, it’s actually quite common. Kids will just freeze and stare at the task, unsure of how to move forward. This doesn’t help them progress, but understanding this as a typical response can help parents respond more empathetically. - Going Around the Wall
Trying to distract oneself from the task might feel like an escape, but in reality, it’s a temporary solution. Kids might jump from one activity to another, but they’re still avoiding the work that needs to be done. Distractions are never a lasting solution to the Wall of Awful. - Hulk Smash (Anger/Forceful Action)
Anger can be a motivator to break through the wall, but it comes at a cost. Whether your child is directing anger toward you or internalizing frustration, this approach damages relationships. It's a reaction rooted in fight/flight stress responses and, while it might provide short-term results, it isn't a healthy long-term strategy. - Climbing the Wall
The healthiest method for overcoming the Wall of Awful is by climbing. This involves facing the emotions that come with the task and moving through them. Acknowledge the overwhelming feeling but remind yourself that the task is manageable. For kids, this might involve a short emotional pause—taking a moment to feel the anxiety before committing to the task. - Putting a Door in the Wall
Sometimes, instead of tackling the emotional burden head-on, you can change your emotional state to make the task seem less daunting. Strategies like exercising, changing locations, or listening to music can help reset emotions and give kids the mental clarity they need to begin working. Changing the environment might be a great way to shift gears and get started.
Key Takeaways:
- Climbing the wall involves confronting difficult emotions and moving through them.
- Hulk Smash and other avoidance techniques might work temporarily but hurt relationships.
- Mindful strategies like changing locations or emotional state (through exercise, music, etc.) can make it easier to start tasks.
- Teach your child to break down big tasks and tackle them step by step, keeping in mind the importance of processing their emotions.
- Use a combination of short-term and long-term strategies to help your child build resilience and emotional strength.
Brendan Mahan’s approach offers effective tools to support your child through the anxiety that comes with overwhelming tasks, ultimately helping them develop stronger emotional and executive function skills.
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