Anxiety is becoming an epidemic among children, but did you know that anxiety is contagious? Parents play a key role in helping kids manage their stress levels, and one of the best ways to do that is by modeling calmness. Christopher Willard, PsyD, author of Growing Up Mindful, explains how we can help our children by managing our own anxiety and showing them healthy ways to cope.
The Rise of Anxiety Among Kids
Today, kids are facing unprecedented levels of anxiety. From school pressures to social media comparisons, and even concerns about global issues like climate change, children are more anxious than ever before. According to Dr. Christopher Willard, one in three teenagers suffers from anxiety, a statistic that has only worsened with the pandemic.
While the pandemic has heightened feelings of anxiety, the roots of this epidemic can be traced to a variety of factors, including the constant pressures kids face and the amplification of worries through social media. But perhaps the most overlooked factor in this crisis is the role that parental anxietyplays in the emotional wellbeing of children.
Why Anxiety is Contagious
Anxiety isn’t just an internal feeling—it’s contagious. Kids, like all of us, are sensitive to the emotional environments around them. When parents are anxious or stressed, it creates an emotional climate that children pick up on, often leading to them feeling anxious themselves.
This doesn’t mean that parents are “bad” for being anxious—it’s natural to feel stress in our lives. However, it’s important to managethis anxiety and show our kids how to cope with it effectively. When we model calmness and healthy coping strategies, we teach our kids that anxiety can be handled.
How Parents Can Model Calm
Dr. Willard suggests that one of the most effective ways to help children manage anxiety is through modeling. If a parent can stay calm and show how to navigate stress, children will learn to do the same. Here’s an example: Imagine you’re running late for school, and you hit a red light. Instead of letting frustration and anxiety take over, you can take a deep breath and calmly explain to your child why you’re staying calm.
This simple act of breathing through the stress becomes a valuable lesson. Over time, your child will pick up on this behavior and begin using it in their own moments of anxiety. Dr. Willard calls this kind of modeling a "skill" that teaches kids not just calm, but how to achieve itin stressful situations.
Practical Tips to Help Manage Anxiety Together
- Breathe together:In moments of stress, like sitting at a red light or waiting in line, use deep breathing as a tool to show your child how to regulate emotions.
- Talk about feelings openly:It’s okay to admit that you’re anxious. Share how you’re feeling, and then show your child what you’re doing to cope.
- Set the example:Kids will mimic what they see. When they see you handling anxiety in a calm and constructive way, they’ll learn to do the same.
- Teach emotional tools:Beyond deep breathing, teach your kids other strategies like mindfulness, grounding techniques, or even simple physical exercises to help them manage stress.
Bottom Line:
As parents, managing our anxiety isn’t just for our own wellbeing—it’s for our kids too. By modeling calmness and teaching emotional regulation skills, we empower our children to handle their worries in healthy, productive ways. Remember, anxiety might be contagious, but so is calm. With the right tools, you can help both yourself and your child manage stress together.
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